hello again...

Hello world...
and again... its been a while....
a really long while....
a long while since i wrote anything here...
and a long while since i had time to relax....
seriously.... doing assignments till the last day of class isn't fun at all....
sigh.... cant even remember when was the last time i had any time to just do nothing.....

but now class is over... all thats left is final exams....
this semester seemed so long.....
and then its suddenly over...

hm...
wonder what im doing....
not sure why im trying so hard....
maybe im hoping that im the end it would be worth it..?

anyway... im suddenly so free now that class is over...
not sure what to do now....
study for my finals...? too lazy....
the past few weeks have been like tests and assignments... and more tests....
a never ending loop of craziness....
better enjoy my free time now....

finals is a week away....
hm....

feel like i wanna lie down in the middle of nowhere.... stare at the stars....

what to do now...?
no idea...

Why...?

Why... why.... why......?
Why is a question that returns no answers... only more questions.....
If i ask why? people would ask me why what?...
why... just why.... and nothing else....

if i ask why.... most people wouldnt even know.....
"stop talking in a way that only you understand"..... some would say....
is it so hard to answer why...?
why everything......

why...? just because..?
im not even sure why im asking why....
i just feel like.....
i wonder why....

can someone tell me why...?
i just want to know why....

drifting around....

Lately... theres been nothing much happening....
i feel like im just drifting through time....
floating around aimlessly...
just like a log in the middle of the ocean.....
maybe i've lost my purpose.....
or maybe its something else...

im starting to wonder what im doing actually....
what am i here for...?

life seems to be rather pointless right now....
what am i going to do....?
absolutely no idea.....

maybe i'll just wait and see what happens....
waiting forever...?
hm.....

koi wa sensou

A vocaloid original song...
The character in the video is Hatsune Miku... one of the vocaloid characters...
nice tune.. meaningful lyrics... really like it...

in case u didnt know.. vocaloid is a computer program which sings... literally...
type in the lyrics and the computer will sing.... in japanese though... not sure about the english version..

anyway.. this is just another song i like...

First week passed.....

First week of class has passed...
so fast....

classes are even more boring than ever...
timetable arrangement is like crap....
lecturers are less than interesting...

okay... taking 5 subjects this sem....
first lecturer is a retired professor from Iraq i think or was it Iran..... anyway.. his teaching seems okay but i dont get what im supposed to learn from his lectures...
second lecturer is an indian guy who keeps shaking his head... indian style... no offense of course... he seems like a nice person nonetheless....
third lecturer is a noob-ish one who teaches material science... first time teaching...? think so...
another lecturer is a 'siao kia' who keeps laughing at his own jokes..? not funny at all... and he likes telling world war 2 stories...
and then theres the moral lecturer who i havent met yet... since i didnt attend the first lesson... problems with class clashes apparently... bad planning from the management.....

all these sems lecturers are hardly as interesting as Mr Chan from last sem.... supposed to teach us this sem too... but was replaced by that retired professor guy.... sigh.... kinda disappointed....

first weeks always relaxing.... spending most of the free time between class playing L4D2 with my friends....
probably wont be this free in the following weeks....

and so... college life starts again... kinda sad seeing less and less people progressing together... some fail and stay behind... some just leave....

another year....

Yawn~~
its been a long time since anything was written here....
thats probably cause theres nothing interesting to write about....
its not like im bored or anything... theres quite a lot of stuff to do... but none of them interesting enough....

and then... its the start another year already... time for class to start, stress to increase... and all that...
when class starts, i hope the holidays would come soon....
when the holidays come, i want class to start soon....
wonder why its like that....
in high school i would just want the holidays and forget about class.....

hmm... not sure what i want actually....
kinda living day by day now....
hope something interesting will happen...?
i always say that....
maybe its up to me to decide if anything is actually interesting....

class starts tomorrow.... first time im actually looking forward to class starting...
hmm.......

The world is too noisy.....

People fight, quarrel, scream and shout... even dogs bark at each other....

The world is just too noisy...
People tend to create noise out of nothing.... probably because they have nothing better to do...?
Probably noise is inevitable... an unavoidable product of this imperfect world....
Maybe theres too many people in this world.... more people equals more noise...

Wonder if theres half as many people in this world.. would it be quieter...?
I wish that there was no noise at all... a perfectly quiet world... wouldnt that be nice..?...

maybe if everyone in this world suddenly just died... probably it would be really quiet then....
or maybe i should just pretend that i couldnt hear, see or think... that would probably feel quiet...

any little bit of noise would start to collect and end up in more noise.... and so on....
in the end, there would be so much noise that people self-destruct....
just like a nuclear reactor without its control rods....

i still dont understand why people have to create noise.....
is it fun...?
is it enjoyable...?
is it an obligation...?

sigh.... the world is too noisy...

So cute...

lol... i couldnt help it... so cute... XD

Scary....

Corpses can be seen lying on the table....
Shiny silvery tools beside them....
A group of THEM gathered around the table...
THEY were staring at the corpses....
One of THEM picked up a tool....
'Crack'... a sound was heard...
One of THEM had used the tool to crush the skeleton of one of the corpses....
The crushed skeleton was removed....
THEY started peeling away the flesh from the corpse....
Ripping out the limbs...
Gathering pieces of meat from the skeleton....
Then THEY started consuming the flesh...
The crushed skeletons were discarded....
After the feast, the group seemed delighted...

Anyway... does this seem like a scene from a horror movie?...
nope... this was yesterday's dinner... we had a family gathering at a seafood restaurant... and... they had ordered crabs... well... i guess this is just a really bad way of describing dinner... and.. thats probably why i dont eat food that looks like it might still be alive...

guess its just a psychological thing... how people view and perceive things...

7 weeks more....

Its Wednesday already... if im not mistaken....
kinda lost my sense of time....

anyway.. got my results today.... only 2 subjects...
an A for math....
a B+ for electronics... lol.. if i actually got an A for mr Chan's subject i'd be beyond godlike... XD
so.. a B+ is kinda reasonable...

nothing much to say actually... kinda bored lately... hope i dont get bored to death....
7 weeks more to go.... first time im actually counting down the holidays... -.-
barely keeping myself alive with anime and web surfing....

maybe i should go do something else... work..?
maybe not.... i dont really want to do anything else...
maybe i could try hibernating till next year..... im already sleeping half of the day.... hmm....
is sleeping too much bad..? no idea...
i probably wont even wake up if i didnt need to... lol.. waking up just to prove that im alive.... -_-''
sigh... im bored but i dont want to do anything... stupid isnt it...?

bored~~

An eventfull week... sorta...

All right... so... what did i do this whole week..?
lets see... went to Genting with my friends on Monday... back on Wednesday...
watched 2012 on yesterday... and then... we're here today...

okay... so about the Genting trip... im kinda lazy to write about it...
its a different experience being there with friends...
all the other times i've been there, was with my cousins... quite a while ago that was... cant remember exactly when though...

and then... there wernt many new things at genting... almost exactly the same as the last time i've been there...
but i guess the fun thing is being there with friends...
okay.. so, we reached there at about 6am Tuesday... spent almost the whole day at the outdoor theme park.... until it started to rain.. heavily..
was quite sunny during the day... never expected it to rain that heavily though....
we spent the night walking around the shopping area in the hotel.... its really easy to get lost there... lol.. disorienting...

maybe i'll post some pictures when i get them... probably gonna be a while though...

and then.. theres yesterday... watched 2012.. a show definitely worth watching...
kinda feel like watching it again... a really exciting show...
the show has a nice blend of action comedy and touching scenes... no point describing... watch it and you'll know hah...

guess this is probably the end of this week... wasnt as boring as i thought it would... lol...
hope next week wouldnt be boring....

Entry 51:-

Entry 51:-
11:00 pm;
Wednesday;
11th November 2009;
Final hour of year 17;
Entry End....

think too much....

tick tock... its been one week already...
and... im just sitting around..... nothing much to do....
heh.. apparently my predictions were true..... hope i dont get bored to death by next week...

and then... since theres so much time... im actually thinking too much again...
too much time to think... -.-

i think some people are like porcupines...
the closer they try to get, the more they hurt each other with their spines...
wonder how true that is....
maybe everyone is a porcupine sometimes...
hurting others that try to get close....
though... it may not be on purpose... but others inevitably get hurt...
its not like u could touch a porcupine without being pricked....

wonder how many times have i been careless... hurting others that try to touch me... injuring those that try to get closer....
maybe we've all been careless once in a while.... inevitably hurting those who care...

or maybe its not the porcupine's fault..?
is it what others deserve by trying to touch a porcupine....
thats a point to think about...

then... would the porcupine eventually become lonely..?
repelling those that try to get closer....
guess thats the only thing they know how to do...?

the porcupine story does have some truth to it... sometimes people are like that...

hmm.... too much time leads to too much thinking.... think too much then become emo....
wonder if im thinking too much....

Its finally here...

Yahooo.... its finally the holidays... forget about finals, forget about studying... its holiday time... for a whole 2 months... how cool is that....

with that... its the end of semester 3 and the end of my first year in college... so fast....
actually is seems more like 3 years have passed... 1 year for 1 semester... but then... whatever...

so.... what to do for 2 months...
my forecast:-
1st week... totally hyper... running around like crazy.. XD
2nd week... less hyper... probably just sitting around...
3rd week onwards... totally bored... wishing that the holidays weren't so long...

though its finally the holidays.... i dont know what to do.... its like theres suddenly nothing to do....

feeling empty.......

hmm.....

speaking of which.. its already 1 year since i graduated from high school... no memories there however...
they say time is slowly ticking away... but it seems like time is quickly draining away rather than slowly ticking....

anyway... lets see how this 2 months turn out....

another explosion....

Ever wondered what would an explosion of a computer power supply look like....?
that happened today....

okay.. i wont go into details.... who knows who's reading this...
so... we had class in the computer lab...and then... out of some indescribable circumstances, the power supply of the computer behind me exploded...
there was a pop, sparks, smoke and everything..... just like a firecracker... as loud as one too... my ears ware ringing....

surely... i was definitely shocked and scared.... just sat there and stared at the thing... seriously... never experienced anything that scary before....

and then... class was interrupted and all that....
wonder why things are seemingly always exploding around me... >.<

....another 3 days more till doomsday...
tick tock.... haiz... still not confident enough....

final week...

Countdown... 1 week more to holiday... which means 4 days more to finals..?... something like that...

anyway... its already the last week of the semester... and my math lecturer still hasnt finished the syllabus yet...
somehow i feel like i have no confidence at all for this sem's finals... ususally i'd think nothing of it... hmm....
first time im worried about finals... worried as in more than usual...

still feel like everything's a blur... feels like nothing is real... hmm....

sigh... even if everything isnt real i still need to study for finals.... A's are getting further out of reach as more semesters pass....

Tests, assignments and more.....

well.... it seems like this blog is gathering cobwebs already....
havent written anything in a while... its either im lazy or i have no time to think about anything else lately....

so... today was the lab test for my electronics subject... even labs need to have tests...
result..? it was far from ok... but rather the exact opposite.... k.o.....
think the tests are easy...? try deriving an equation for a circuit you have never seem before and then using that equation to prove your experiment results.... its kinda like making diamonds out of thin air....
which of course, was quite impossible seeing that the circuits he gives are quite complicated......

wish it was as easy as 'hocus pocus and poof..' and then an equation appears right there.... which according to my lecturer is what should actually happen... except that hocus pocus requires not magic powder but rather brain power....

wonder why he likes us to derive equations so much.... its like every test that he gives involve deriving equations for never seen before circuits... well... maybe given more time i could do that... but time is not a luxury in tests....

and guess what.... my math test is tomorrow... and then i have absolutely no confidence at all.... dont even understand math.... sure die....
besides the math test, theres a presentation waiting tomorrow.... a presentation for that same freakin electronics subject.... hope its better than the tests he gives....

next week is the last week of classes... and then its finals and holiday.... semester 3 passed really fast....

BeForU

A few songs from the group BeForU

Sonic Mixer


Dive 2006


I really like the songs... not sure about their other songs though...

lately life has been rather pointless... more studying and completing assignments....

and then.... i cant seem to recall stuff i did a few minutes ago... not sure if its because of the lack of sleep or is it my memory thats failing me.... or maybe i did nothing at all... thats why theres nothing to remember....

something happened.....?

time seems to be flying again....
now it seems that all i can think about is my assignments.... short sems are really stressful....

its really frustrating when things dont work out in practical... but they work properly during computer simulation....
guess electronics is like that.... stupid practical limitations... guess life is like that... never ideal... and limited practicality....

lately ive been feeling suddenly happy then sad then sleepy.. then everything together.... -_-''
probably the assignment's screwing my thoughts....

o yea... i also burnt an op-amp chip in the lab today... it 'exploded' with a white puff of smoke... well actually it didnt explode but just cracked...... my lecturer said the smoke was poisonous... ack...... theres a first time for everything right...? hope that dosent happen too often....

and then assignment's deadline is this friday.... sigh...

sigh....

Today was rather bad...
Mr demon's test was today.... just terrible.... think im gonna fail this test...
guess i should ask myself "what am i doing?".... i cant even hear my own thoughts anymore...
i know i should have put in more effort to study..... wonder why i didnt listen to myself....
hope that it isnt as bad as i think... but knowing him... its always worse...

things seem so screwed that i dont even know anything anymore.....
wonder whats going to happen now...
probably should think positive... its not like life is over or anything....

but still.... i dont know anymore.....