Frustrated....

FYI... i just spent almost the whole day at college... doing what?... doing my assignments obviously....

It would be assumed that my assignments would be done already... but on contrary nothing much was done... So... what actually happened for that 9 hours i was there?...
Lets see... I planned to complete at least the lab report there... thought i could ask a few of my friends for help.... turned out they knew nothing... as usual... well.. they helped a little.. but not much...

And so... i ended up depending on myself... who else to depend on if not myself... heh....
On top of that i had to be everyone's "problem solver".... sure... i'd help if i can.... but it gets annoying after a while.... seriously... i'm not some genius who knows everything....its not like you can just put a question into me and expect a miracle answer..... can't these people at least think a little before asking ( no offense )....

At this moment my report and assignments remain unfinished... and im tired....
Gonna go sleep it off.... forget about everything.... and thus the phrase 'Hakuna Matata'.... it means no worries.... and then that song starts playing in your head... haha...

Well... no worries for now... everything will straighten out sooner or later.... though preferably sooner...

Pressure.....

Only a few days to assignment deadline...
And so... the pressure increases....
Pressure is defined as force per unit area... the force would be equal to the assignments... area would be the time frame given to complete the assignment multiplied by number of people doing it.... As the assignments are not group assignments, the only factor to decrease pressure is time... but time is decreasing... but the work is not.... and so... pressure increases....

feels like my heads gonna explode....
All the assignments came at once.... just like a nuclear bomb releasing exponential amounts of energy at once.... who are the culprits? the lecturers, of course...
If life was a sick cartoon... the students heads would have exploded one by one just by the sheer pressure of work.... each time we receive a new assignment... some of the students would blow up.... brains and internal organs would be splattered across the class....

Cant even breathe with all that work pressing on me..... really need to get it done... but no matter what i do things doesn't seem to be progressing well....

Well.. at least one thing came out right... completed my circuit for the electronic subject... a.k.a. EEE
now i just have to complete the damned report...

Already starting to lack sleep.... wonder if i ate pure caffeine i would be able to work faster.....

Sigh.... life is like that... no work no gain.... and thus more work is needed.....

Bored... and thus, random post.....

Bored a.k.a. Sien.....
But then there's a whole lot of unfinished reports and assignments.....
Haiz.... what to do....
Probably need some motivation....

And then... the weather seems to have gotten warmer... a little too warm actually.... damn hard to sleep at night.... some more got no air cond...

Why am i bored? don't know don't care...
But... i am quite sien with a few of my lecturers.... They should actually concentrate on passing on knowledge and not focusing on completing the syllabus... although it is important to finish the syllabus, it wont be of any use if we don't learn anything....... idiots... haiz...

Recently life seems to be a little detached from reality.... life doesn't have to be real does it?
Come to think of it, what defines life and reality?...
What makes something real or not real.... is it only relative? or something else...

Hmm.... i should be doing my assignments instead of writing this.... but what the heck... doesn't take too much time to write a post...

Anyway... life is still the same with a few unreal events included... and another day passes.... week 3 already ended... damn fast...

I should be....

more hardworking....
more diligent....
more caring....
more concerned....
more worried about my future....
more understanding....
more selfless....
more happy....
more grateful....
more productive....
more helpful....

more everything......

There's a whole lot of things that i should be.... what society wants me to be.... what everyone expects me to be...
Maybe I'm just a shell for peoples expectations... what am i really like? i have absolutely no idea.... maybe you all know....
Of course... i should actually be all those things... it would definitely be great...
Sometimes I'm still wondering... what would my true self be like...

They say "be yourself"... but how?... Its not easily achievable when you don't know how yourself would be like....
I usually just adapt to other people... and so... i may act differently at different times.... makes things easier....

Well life is still a mystery... (mine is anyway)

Overload.....

Assignments... Reports... and more...
imagine that for 5 subjects and all with a deadline within 2 weeks....
I might be exaggerating a little.. but there's still a whole lot of unfinished stuff....
And then there's the freakin moronic lecturer who never tells us what to do and expects reports and assignments to be done.....

Haiz.... so tired....

Still... work must be done...
Should think positive... things should straighten themselves out.... i hope...

Too bad there's no overload protection circuit for work... lols....

~Update..~

added a song of the week section on the sidebar...
should be updated weekly...i hope...
listen if you want to.. don't complain or say anything if you hate it...
thats all..

Change...

It has been about half a year since then....
About 6 months since things started to change....
About 24 weeks ago.. form 5 ended.... little did i know, since then many many things would happen.....
Everything began to change....

After form 5 ended... some went to national service... some stayed at home doing nothing..... whereas.. I went to college....
Things will never be the same ever again after form 5 ended...
I will never return to high school.... the endless days sitting in class studying, chatting with friends and worrying about exams and homework finally ended....
Now that i think about it, i actually miss high school... spending the days with friends... spending the nights gaming... waking up to a new day wondering what will happen in school....

Sure... i met new friends at college... but i cant help but wonder...
Staring at the same azure sky... the sky is still the same.. but nothing else is... everyone have started to go their own ways.... drifting further apart...
Most of my high school friends ended up in form 6... guess things wouldn't be the same for them either...
They would probably go through day by day like high school... with the exception that I'm not there with them... well, life goes on....
Sometimes i wonder if i would be missed... or just slowly forgotten... just a memory of the past..

Of course, things will change eventually... nothing remains the same forever...
Wonder why i even bother trying... i should just let everything move by itself... let everything fall into place or fall apart... just let it be.... things will have to change sooner or later...
Wonder if it would make any difference if i wasn't there in the first place... if i had never met everyone... would anything be changed?

All i can do now is just smile stupidly at the days that approach....
The wonderful days are just now a memory....

Not alone but lonely....

So... as the title says... wonder how that is possible?
How can someone be lonely when not alone... sounds like a paradox theory...
Anyway... what it means is that I'm not alone because i have friends.. parents.. family... people around me
With people around me, I'm hardly alone... laughing with friends, chatting away with family... and etc.. normal people would definitely understand...

And then one might ask how can i be lonely if there's always people around me....
The reason might be unreasonable... to most people anyway..(lol.. what kind of reason is an unreasonable one)
Why i feel lonely is probably because most people hardly understand me... sure you can say that you understand me... but i doubt that...
They say parents understand their children best... though, I'm not so sure...
Why would i say that people don't understand me?..
Its probably because people don't share my thoughts... whatever i think is my own... I'm the only person that can understand my own thoughts...
Sure.. guess that makes everyone different... everyone has their own way of thinking...

And then... that makes me wish that i could share my thoughts with someone other than myself... wonder if i had a twin, would he share my thoughts?.. probably not...

So.. it gets a little lonely when I'm the only one who can decipher my thoughts... end up thinking to myself...
Living in my own world... that's quite true.. only me would understand my imagination...
If i could display my thoughts on a screen, it would blow away any special effects imaginable...(haha... well....probably.....)

And so... everyone's thoughts are unique... don't expect anyone to understand the way i think....
Same goes for interests... not many would have the same as me... it makes me special... and also a little lonely.... people who share the same interests as me end up being competitors....(how stupid is that)

On a side note.. its already Friday..
Second week of sem2 is already over...
Most of my friends already started studying also...
Now I'm only living day by day... smiling at the new day and waving it goodbye as it goes away... Staring at a blank tomorrow.... not much to look forward to lately....
So... everyday passes with hardly any meaning....

..... though meaningless.. time still passes.....
...oh well....

Spiral...

What is a spiral.... a spiral can be a never ending shape, going on and on...
From the dictionary : a spiral is a shape made up of curves, each one above or wider than the one before.

Spirals are indeed amazing and intriguing shapes....

There are a lot of different types of spirals...
Spirals can also be abstract...
The few that we encounter daily is the positivity spiral or negativity spiral....
Ever wondered why bad things seem to happen one after another?... that's the negativity spiral... beware... haha... and sometimes things get better and better....

Lately I'm experiencing a positivity spiral.. things seems to go rather smoothly.. XD...
best of all, I'm happy for no apparent reason... hope this lasts.....
Guess everyone should be happy.. have fun in everything you do...

Besides the positivity and negativity spirals, there are also a whole lot of different types... discover them on your own... haha....

Another special day...

Its the second Sunday in May... and thus, Happy Mother's Day
hope all mothers are happy...though it is not statistically possible... but nevertheless hoping is good..

A few good songs to share(and a test on posting videos..):

Ash like Snow:


Meikyuu Butterfly:


Black Diamond:


Ignore the videos if you think its crappy.. But the songs are indeed nice..
For more information, Google is your best friend.. haha...

If time was like money...

As the title says, If time was like money....
Ever wondered what if time was like money? You could spend it, keep it for later use... and such..

A totally impossible ' what if ':
Everyday you would receive an allowance of 24 hours...
If i only spent 8 hours on that day, i could keep the rest for later use in a time-bank...
Every hour i deposit in the time-bank, i would receive a monthly interest... then i would get extra time to spend later on....
If there was a loan system i would be even more interesting....
Borrow an extra few hours for today.... return it tomorrow.... this gives a whole new meaning to 'living on borrowed time'...

If time was like money maybe we could have time credit cards.....
Or even inherit huge amounts of time from wealthy grandparents......
how cool is that....
If i could have a time-account filled with a whole lot of time..... i could spend all the time in the world doing what i want to....

Everyone is only allowed 24 hours a day... but if i could save even just 1 hour a day... it would add up to quite a lot...
I could even choose not to spend my 24 hours in that day and use it another day... that would give me 48 hours in 1 day... not bad eh?

IF time was like money...
notice this is a huge IF (literally)...
almost impossible...(totally impossible actually)

And so, we should use the 24 hours we are allowed in 1 day wisely... if it it not well spent, it is wasted....
Time cannot be saved no matter what...(unless if time travel has been invented).. and thus it should be treated with respect....

I still want to have top power to control time...
Well... everyone can dream cant they?

Tired...

Its the second day of semester 2....
and I'm tired already... damn... wonder how am i gonna survive the next 4 months....
crappy afternoon classes.... haiz...

I'm starting to wonder if they are conducting a secret experiment where they suck out the life force of the students.....

with all the afternoon classes and all that... its like i go back to sleep only... wake up then have to go college already....

tired.......
sleep....
zz....

maybe I'm just not used to it yet...
besides the tiredness and all that... the lecturers are quite ok(first impression) might change my mind later on... lol....

Lame joke...

Two pieces of ham were walking down the road...
And one of them said : "We're dead meat."

Get it?? dead meat...
Technically ham is meat which is dead... and thus dead meat... XD

Observe....

Have you ever observed people and the world around you before?
Take a good look and see the things that you have missed or never thought was there before....
One thing that I've noticed is that people are selfish by nature...
Everyone is never kind to one another... never caring... unless if you're old, sick or nearly dead....
Sure, you can say that you've helped on old lady up the stairs or give up your seat for a sickly old man......

Notice that they are helped and cared for because they cant do it by themselves...
What about the healthy people?... Most people would say: "Let them be", "They can help themselves", "Why should i help them?", "Who cares..." that's right, who cares... nobody cares..

"Help those in need.." but what about the others?

Guess that's how the world works.... Nobody cares for you because you can care for yourself....
Wouldn't you wish that everyone could and would care just because they can? But isn't it selfish to wish that everyone would care for you?

The world we live in is a paradox... no definite... nothing definable.. nothing perfect...

Well... who cares anyway... people continue living just like that...

Holiday....(the end of it)

Today is May Day aka. Labour Day....
Happy labour day to all workers... its a special holiday eh...
Ever wondered why there aren't many special holidays like this?
Its all due to a simple reasoning of appreciation (sounds stupid? probably....)
Anyway... think about it.. people tend to take things for granted when they get used to it...
Too many holidays and u wont appreciate any of it..
If you worked hard all your life, you would appreciate any little bit of rest you get...
Its the same with relationships or anything else for that matter....
The further you are away from someone... the more you would appreciate any little bit of time you spend with them, no matter how the other person dismisses that fact......

And thus.. appreciate any and everything you get... take things for granted and they will disappear faster than you know it........

... semester break is almost ending... so sad...