The world is too noisy.....

People fight, quarrel, scream and shout... even dogs bark at each other....

The world is just too noisy...
People tend to create noise out of nothing.... probably because they have nothing better to do...?
Probably noise is inevitable... an unavoidable product of this imperfect world....
Maybe theres too many people in this world.... more people equals more noise...

Wonder if theres half as many people in this world.. would it be quieter...?
I wish that there was no noise at all... a perfectly quiet world... wouldnt that be nice..?...

maybe if everyone in this world suddenly just died... probably it would be really quiet then....
or maybe i should just pretend that i couldnt hear, see or think... that would probably feel quiet...

any little bit of noise would start to collect and end up in more noise.... and so on....
in the end, there would be so much noise that people self-destruct....
just like a nuclear reactor without its control rods....

i still dont understand why people have to create noise.....
is it fun...?
is it enjoyable...?
is it an obligation...?

sigh.... the world is too noisy...

So cute...

lol... i couldnt help it... so cute... XD

Scary....

Corpses can be seen lying on the table....
Shiny silvery tools beside them....
A group of THEM gathered around the table...
THEY were staring at the corpses....
One of THEM picked up a tool....
'Crack'... a sound was heard...
One of THEM had used the tool to crush the skeleton of one of the corpses....
The crushed skeleton was removed....
THEY started peeling away the flesh from the corpse....
Ripping out the limbs...
Gathering pieces of meat from the skeleton....
Then THEY started consuming the flesh...
The crushed skeletons were discarded....
After the feast, the group seemed delighted...

Anyway... does this seem like a scene from a horror movie?...
nope... this was yesterday's dinner... we had a family gathering at a seafood restaurant... and... they had ordered crabs... well... i guess this is just a really bad way of describing dinner... and.. thats probably why i dont eat food that looks like it might still be alive...

guess its just a psychological thing... how people view and perceive things...

7 weeks more....

Its Wednesday already... if im not mistaken....
kinda lost my sense of time....

anyway.. got my results today.... only 2 subjects...
an A for math....
a B+ for electronics... lol.. if i actually got an A for mr Chan's subject i'd be beyond godlike... XD
so.. a B+ is kinda reasonable...

nothing much to say actually... kinda bored lately... hope i dont get bored to death....
7 weeks more to go.... first time im actually counting down the holidays... -.-
barely keeping myself alive with anime and web surfing....

maybe i should go do something else... work..?
maybe not.... i dont really want to do anything else...
maybe i could try hibernating till next year..... im already sleeping half of the day.... hmm....
is sleeping too much bad..? no idea...
i probably wont even wake up if i didnt need to... lol.. waking up just to prove that im alive.... -_-''
sigh... im bored but i dont want to do anything... stupid isnt it...?

bored~~

An eventfull week... sorta...

All right... so... what did i do this whole week..?
lets see... went to Genting with my friends on Monday... back on Wednesday...
watched 2012 on yesterday... and then... we're here today...

okay... so about the Genting trip... im kinda lazy to write about it...
its a different experience being there with friends...
all the other times i've been there, was with my cousins... quite a while ago that was... cant remember exactly when though...

and then... there wernt many new things at genting... almost exactly the same as the last time i've been there...
but i guess the fun thing is being there with friends...
okay.. so, we reached there at about 6am Tuesday... spent almost the whole day at the outdoor theme park.... until it started to rain.. heavily..
was quite sunny during the day... never expected it to rain that heavily though....
we spent the night walking around the shopping area in the hotel.... its really easy to get lost there... lol.. disorienting...

maybe i'll post some pictures when i get them... probably gonna be a while though...

and then.. theres yesterday... watched 2012.. a show definitely worth watching...
kinda feel like watching it again... a really exciting show...
the show has a nice blend of action comedy and touching scenes... no point describing... watch it and you'll know hah...

guess this is probably the end of this week... wasnt as boring as i thought it would... lol...
hope next week wouldnt be boring....

Entry 51:-

Entry 51:-
11:00 pm;
Wednesday;
11th November 2009;
Final hour of year 17;
Entry End....

think too much....

tick tock... its been one week already...
and... im just sitting around..... nothing much to do....
heh.. apparently my predictions were true..... hope i dont get bored to death by next week...

and then... since theres so much time... im actually thinking too much again...
too much time to think... -.-

i think some people are like porcupines...
the closer they try to get, the more they hurt each other with their spines...
wonder how true that is....
maybe everyone is a porcupine sometimes...
hurting others that try to get close....
though... it may not be on purpose... but others inevitably get hurt...
its not like u could touch a porcupine without being pricked....

wonder how many times have i been careless... hurting others that try to touch me... injuring those that try to get closer....
maybe we've all been careless once in a while.... inevitably hurting those who care...

or maybe its not the porcupine's fault..?
is it what others deserve by trying to touch a porcupine....
thats a point to think about...

then... would the porcupine eventually become lonely..?
repelling those that try to get closer....
guess thats the only thing they know how to do...?

the porcupine story does have some truth to it... sometimes people are like that...

hmm.... too much time leads to too much thinking.... think too much then become emo....
wonder if im thinking too much....

Its finally here...

Yahooo.... its finally the holidays... forget about finals, forget about studying... its holiday time... for a whole 2 months... how cool is that....

with that... its the end of semester 3 and the end of my first year in college... so fast....
actually is seems more like 3 years have passed... 1 year for 1 semester... but then... whatever...

so.... what to do for 2 months...
my forecast:-
1st week... totally hyper... running around like crazy.. XD
2nd week... less hyper... probably just sitting around...
3rd week onwards... totally bored... wishing that the holidays weren't so long...

though its finally the holidays.... i dont know what to do.... its like theres suddenly nothing to do....

feeling empty.......

hmm.....

speaking of which.. its already 1 year since i graduated from high school... no memories there however...
they say time is slowly ticking away... but it seems like time is quickly draining away rather than slowly ticking....

anyway... lets see how this 2 months turn out....

another explosion....

Ever wondered what would an explosion of a computer power supply look like....?
that happened today....

okay.. i wont go into details.... who knows who's reading this...
so... we had class in the computer lab...and then... out of some indescribable circumstances, the power supply of the computer behind me exploded...
there was a pop, sparks, smoke and everything..... just like a firecracker... as loud as one too... my ears ware ringing....

surely... i was definitely shocked and scared.... just sat there and stared at the thing... seriously... never experienced anything that scary before....

and then... class was interrupted and all that....
wonder why things are seemingly always exploding around me... >.<

....another 3 days more till doomsday...
tick tock.... haiz... still not confident enough....

final week...

Countdown... 1 week more to holiday... which means 4 days more to finals..?... something like that...

anyway... its already the last week of the semester... and my math lecturer still hasnt finished the syllabus yet...
somehow i feel like i have no confidence at all for this sem's finals... ususally i'd think nothing of it... hmm....
first time im worried about finals... worried as in more than usual...

still feel like everything's a blur... feels like nothing is real... hmm....

sigh... even if everything isnt real i still need to study for finals.... A's are getting further out of reach as more semesters pass....

Tests, assignments and more.....

well.... it seems like this blog is gathering cobwebs already....
havent written anything in a while... its either im lazy or i have no time to think about anything else lately....

so... today was the lab test for my electronics subject... even labs need to have tests...
result..? it was far from ok... but rather the exact opposite.... k.o.....
think the tests are easy...? try deriving an equation for a circuit you have never seem before and then using that equation to prove your experiment results.... its kinda like making diamonds out of thin air....
which of course, was quite impossible seeing that the circuits he gives are quite complicated......

wish it was as easy as 'hocus pocus and poof..' and then an equation appears right there.... which according to my lecturer is what should actually happen... except that hocus pocus requires not magic powder but rather brain power....

wonder why he likes us to derive equations so much.... its like every test that he gives involve deriving equations for never seen before circuits... well... maybe given more time i could do that... but time is not a luxury in tests....

and guess what.... my math test is tomorrow... and then i have absolutely no confidence at all.... dont even understand math.... sure die....
besides the math test, theres a presentation waiting tomorrow.... a presentation for that same freakin electronics subject.... hope its better than the tests he gives....

next week is the last week of classes... and then its finals and holiday.... semester 3 passed really fast....

BeForU

A few songs from the group BeForU

Sonic Mixer


Dive 2006


I really like the songs... not sure about their other songs though...

lately life has been rather pointless... more studying and completing assignments....

and then.... i cant seem to recall stuff i did a few minutes ago... not sure if its because of the lack of sleep or is it my memory thats failing me.... or maybe i did nothing at all... thats why theres nothing to remember....

something happened.....?

time seems to be flying again....
now it seems that all i can think about is my assignments.... short sems are really stressful....

its really frustrating when things dont work out in practical... but they work properly during computer simulation....
guess electronics is like that.... stupid practical limitations... guess life is like that... never ideal... and limited practicality....

lately ive been feeling suddenly happy then sad then sleepy.. then everything together.... -_-''
probably the assignment's screwing my thoughts....

o yea... i also burnt an op-amp chip in the lab today... it 'exploded' with a white puff of smoke... well actually it didnt explode but just cracked...... my lecturer said the smoke was poisonous... ack...... theres a first time for everything right...? hope that dosent happen too often....

and then assignment's deadline is this friday.... sigh...

sigh....

Today was rather bad...
Mr demon's test was today.... just terrible.... think im gonna fail this test...
guess i should ask myself "what am i doing?".... i cant even hear my own thoughts anymore...
i know i should have put in more effort to study..... wonder why i didnt listen to myself....
hope that it isnt as bad as i think... but knowing him... its always worse...

things seem so screwed that i dont even know anything anymore.....
wonder whats going to happen now...
probably should think positive... its not like life is over or anything....

but still.... i dont know anymore.....

nothing to write....

Its been quite a long time since i wrote anything here...
Wonder if anyone reads what i write anyway....

nothing much happens nowadays... except for assignments raining down like a hailstorm on a dark winter night... long, cold and hard....

and then theres my boring math lecturer... you can practically fall asleep whenever he starts talking... wonder how the heck am i going to pass my math....

Anyway... here's some really nice songs to enjoy...

Euphoric Field


Ebullient future

Both the songs are the opening theme for an anime called ef.... by the way, the anime is quite good also...

Start again...

Semester 3 started... obviously....
the first few days were quite relaxing... XD.... though not sure about the days to come....

okay... so this semester is a short one... think its only 7 weeks... only 2 subjects.... blah blah blah....

seems that a few of the students failed and got left back in sem2.... and so... even less people progressed to sem3....

new subjects calls for new lecturers... some interesting some boring....
okay... so theres 2 subjects math and electronics...
our math lecturer seems rather... boring... (first impression)
and our electronics lecturer is quite "interesting"... he will smile, laugh and joke... but then he's like a demon in disguise... waiting for the right moment to kill all of us... just scary.... its like theres this terrifying aura surrounding him..... but his teaching seems quite good... at least i hope so....

and so... time to study again.... but theres 2 months of holiday at the end of the year... haha.....

2nd sem results.....

Good evening..... today is the day the results for sem2 were released.....
and.... it wasnt the best of days....

okay.... lets start from the beginning.....
woke up at 6... too nervous to sleep.... but still slept till 7 anyway....
reached my college at 8....just to find that the office isnt open yet..... so... i waited till 8.30... then went to get my results...

okay.... the results i got were totally unexpected...
got an A for math...unexpected since i didnt finish my final exam....
got an A for the circuit theory thing.... no expectations for this one...
got an A+ for engineering drawing... this one was expected....XD
and then...... theres the computer subject... i expected at least an A or A-....
BUT.... i got a B+ instead... rather unbelievable... a B+... a freaking B+!!!!

so... why did i get a B+ instead of an A...?
its all that freakin old man's fault... my lecturer of course...
another 10 marks and i could get an A already... instead of a B+....
so... he gave me 4.4/20 marks for my assignment... i obviously deserve more marks than that... after all the time i spent doing the assignment.... for those people who do programming... you should know that its not easy... especially if the code is really long... and within a time limit...

damn that old man... and he said that he would "remark" our assignments... which he obviously didnt...
i definately knew that i did quite well for the final exam... so... i should get an A if he actually did give me more marks for my assignment......

never should've trusted that old man.... he seemed nice... giving us tips for the exam and all that... but he's just lazy... its just stupid to think about it.... thought he'd be nice enough to "remark" the assignments... but... heh.... stupid moron....

o yea... after i got the results i went to find him... but then he wasnt in the office... took a leave thay said... damn that... just because he was scared to face us..... i really feel like i want to punch him in the face..... pound him into mush.... definately unforgivable...

sigh.... the only subject i didnt get an A..... somehow i feel sad... some may say its only a test... its only some marks... yea... i guess its "only"....
but it should be easy to understand... i should get the marks i deserve... right...? definately...

and so.... that is that... but i still feel kinda sad about it....

after we got our results we went for lunch
then went bowling with my friends...
then went for high tea... XD
and then ended up at a cyber cafe.... couldnt play the games we wanted though... lame computers...

and so... a rather melanchoic day passed... still unhappy about my results.... heh.... =_=

time...?

hmm.... looks like its Thursday already... i've started to lose track of time again...
wonder how people view time... maybe some people view time as a continuous cycle... or maybe in frames... or maybe something else...

Time seems to be moving in frames for me... each segment of time seems to be just that... segments... moving so fast that its hard to notice anything else....

Time seems to be linked to our memory... we know that time passes because we remembered what happened a second or minute ago... so... if someone cant remember at all would they have no perception of time..?

Hmm.... if you cant remember that time passes then would it seem that time never passed at all...? or maybe it would feel like you jumped into the future... heh...

lol... would someone go crazy if they stared at the clock for 24 hours straight...?

anyway... what did i do with the past few days of my holidays...? lets see...
played badminton with my friends on Monday....
stared at my computer screen on Tuesday...
went to gurney on Wednesday... watched 2 movies in 1 day... kinda an excuse to waste time only...
probably going to stare at my computer screen for the whole of today again....

A break at last....

Finally its the end of semester 2... time passed really fast..... and so.. the holidays have started...
2 weeks of break time...

actually i was already in holiday mood since wednesday... hope i can still get straight A's....

lol... the exam on friday was 5-7pm... kinda late eh... right after the exam everyone was suddenly free... jumping and running about.... just kidding...
what actually happened was that me and my friends went to queensbay... watched GI Joe.. not bad a movie.. though lacking a little in the storyline...

Okay... so its holiday time... what am i gonna do..?... .. .
something tells me im going to be spending 2 weeks watching anime....
maybe i would learn more about 3ds max....

better enjoy the holiday while it lasts... semester 3 would be even worse than sem2... i think....

Exam time...

Guess what... its finals again.... well... its already halfway through....two more days to go...
And then.... it seems that many people are working their brains out... not sleeping... looking like zombies... etc....

what about me..? im still oblivious to the fact that theres an exam going on... think im probably the only one not stressed about the exam.... its like.. okay theres an exam, so... study... write down the answers... and then its over....

Exam routine... wake up... go to college... spend 2 hours squeezing information out of my brain... and then go back.... after that only i notice that the exam is already over...

People are really studying hard for the finals... while i still couldnt be bothered to put in more effort... heh...
I usually like to think.. "it'll be over soon..." "it'll get done sooner or later.." "things always come out right..."......
I'm probably just lazy.... quite true...

Seems that students are becoming emo because of exams...wonder how true that is....

and so... finals will end on friday... after that its holiday... probably gonna be a boing one...

Real...? or not...

Take a good look at the picture at the right.... the glass objects....
The shiny sparkly things there.....
Right click and view image for a bigger view...

Try to guess if they are real objects photographed or a computer generated image.....
Take a guess before reading the rest of this post...


The answer...?







its a computer generated image... amazing isnt it...? The power of 3d imaging...XD

Yea... i made that picture... using 3ds Max... the features are really nice...

Damn... i should be studying instead of doing this crap....

Lazyness....

Final exams are coming... i know that... but then... im still not starting my revision yet...
Lazy to study.... but everyone else is studying already... working so hard...hmm.....

seems like it has always been like that.... heh... finals start this saturday and im still watching anime and playing games... sigh.... really no mood to study...

Guess i should really start already....

Looks like the matriculation students have already returned to their colleges... less people around now.... though... they were never really "around" to begin with....

Still feel kinda empty.... feels like i lost something... but not sure what it is.... sigh....

Have you ever wondered why things are the way they are..? Or do you just accept that things are because they are....
Have you ever wondered about the purpose of things...?
Sometimes i wonder why....
Some people say i think too much.... i wonder... heh...

ARC-170 Fighter

~~Warning, keep your eyeballs intact and try to refrain from staring at the detail of this thing. Model is definitely not for sale(lol... who would want a crappy model anyway...)~~

So.. for the assignment i drew this fighter from Star Wars....
Its the ARC-170 fighter.... took me every night for 1 whole week to build this freakin thing....
Marks based on effort the lecturer says.... if he dosent give me full marks for this im so gonna screw him...

A front-top view.... took about 10 minutes to render this thing.... so lame..

Another view.... Wonder if 3DS Max is a better 3d drawing software...

Kinda got a headache from flipping the model around... its not as easy as it looks...

The interior of the thing... wonder if he'll even look at the inside... XD theres a cute little R2D2 at the top..

I got the measurements from a paper model i built... lol... took about just as long to build the paper model.... There are turbine blades inside the engine too...

Wonder why the render looks plasticky... it actually looks better when you can rotate it in 3d...

Lazy to render anymore... the renders dont look that good anyway.... its kinda hard to believe that i actually built this thing... theres a sense of satisfaction when you look at it after its complete... XD... the models built by my friends look really nice too...

Now i suddenly feel empty... dunno why... maybe its cause the things finally complete and theres not much to do now... imagine every night for 1 whole week just for a model...

sigh.... finals in 1 week... time passed really fast... feels like it was just 2 weeks ago....

[insert title here]

yes... im too lazy to think of a title...

anyway... time flies again... the second wave of tests and assignment is finally over... now all that awaits is the final exams.... actually theres still one last assignment... the 3d modelling for our drawing class...
We're supposed to just build something 3d using autocad.... seriously.. autocad isn't really suited for 3d stuff... its really difficult to build a simple piece (i salute the people who designed the transformers).... but it looks really nice though... maybe i'll post pictures of my assignment when im done....

by the way... why do people say that time files... how can something untangible fly... time is just an idea which was created by people and in fact does not exist.. just kidding...
though... i seem to have lost track of time... it seems to just fly by without me noticing...
I wonder... do people's perception of time differ from each individual? maybe.... well... who cares anyway... time is time and wont change no matter how we view it...unless if we could exist outside of time...
Maybe our lives are just little timed simulations carried out by some being outside this existance (dunno where that idea came from)....

What else.... oh yea... theres this game called Left 4 Dead... a really fun game... typical humans vs zombies game... kill all the zombies.. but with strategy and teamwork added....
Now our computer lab time is mostly spent playing this game... lol... definately a game worth playing with friends...

Lately i keep feeling sleepy... no idea why... im sure i get enough sleep... but then i still feel sleepy... maybe its just in my head.... some days i feel like i could run around without eating or sleeping... and other days i just feel like sleeping the whole day away.... wonder if anyone else feels like this...

Heh... so... another day has passed... and soon another week... and etc... melancholy sets in... sigh...

Crap....

Wow... its Wednesday already.... time passed so fast.... for me anyway....
Today was the EEE test.... and... things didn't go too well... in fact... everything was damn wrong....
Think i seriously messed up this time... can only hope that i get decent marks...
Supposed to finish 4 questions in 2 hours.... used up 45 mins on the first one... so.... it ended up like crap... cant blame me though... the question was stupidly long... and my lecturer cant set proper questions which are plausible to finish in 2 hours.....

Still got the math test again... somehow i feel like im gonna snap anytime soon....
The math assignment was so tedious that a missing negative sign would screw you up..... at least thats over....
And then.... it seems that "piracy" rates are quite high in our class.... once answers are leaked, the whole class would get it really fast...in the end.... everyone's answers would be almost the same...

Seems that those who went for matriculation are back for the holidays... 2 weeks to be exact... They have 2 weeks of holiday and i have 2 more weeks of class.... lol...
Even so... nothing seems to have changed at all... or maybe im too busy to notice....

After this week things should calm down a little... 2 more weeks till finals... guess thats how things are... just a while ago it was the start of semester 2... now its almost the end already....

Not over yet....

Due date of the EEE assignment was yesterday.... programming assignment today....
Because of these assignment... I'm now lacking sleep... damn... these assignments are not easy at all...

But... it still not over... in fact it hasn't even begun yet...
lets see...
next Monday have to hand in the EEE lab report...
Tuesday is the malaysian studies test...
Wednesday is the EEE test and due date of the math assignment....
Thursday.... is the deadline for the drawing assignment and math test....
Friday... there wont be a friday because we'd all be dead by then....

Sigh... no need to sleep for the next whole week already...

Aside from the tests and assignments... nothing much has happened.... or rather.. i didnt have the time to notice anything that happened....

Week of the dead...

Good morning world... this week is the week of the dead... or rather deadlines...
either way... most of us would be half dead by the end of this week...

Warning... this is another complaint post....

The main reason for being stressed is the fact that our EEE lecturer is definitely crappy...
Gives us an assignment without briefing us about it... but thats not the worst part....
The worst part is that the instructions and questions of the assignment are hardly understandable.... he could at least give specific instructions on what he wants us to do... and then... he still hasnt completed the syllabus thats needed for our assignment... "go study by yourselves" he says....damn....

Sigh... the next week is already filled with tests....
Oh well.. back to work... no use complaining anyway...

Hectic time again....

Da da da.... time for assignments and tests again.... this time its even worse...
Lets see... there are 3 assignments due within one week, 1 lab report due on Monday... some tests are coming too....

Time to hit the panic button....
According to my calculations... i have only less than 2 days to complete one assignment... looks like there's going to be more sleepless nights ahead...

All right.. time to get started... Lets go!!!! must pia... if not sure die... XD...

Recent happenings...

All right... what happened recently?.. most of you should already know....
Yesterday there was this event called 'Engineering Night'... its like a party-dinner-prom kind of a thing organized by the engineering society of my college... ?supposed to be a really important event?.... think so...

For those who went, you would know how exciting and fun experience it was....had a really wonderful time...
The coordination of the whole event was expected from an event planned by students... some minor delays and technical problems.... but its still quite a success...

The food was quite good... The events were interesting... one of the more notable events was the beatboxing thing.... performance was so cool... totally amazing... the only time the whole room was quiet was during this event... too bad for those who missed it... lols...
Another event was to choose the king and queen for the night... though, it was more like an event just to prank those unfortunate enough to be nominated... XD

And then.... one of the weirdest things happened... 5 out of 11 people at our table won lucky draws what are the chances of that.... but sadly im not one of them...

Since i dont have a camera... there are no pictures right now... probably get them from my friends later....

Anyway.. back to the present...
I went to watch Transformers 2 today... which is supposedly a really good show...
"2 and a half hours of special effects" would be enough to summarize the whole show.... haha...
Technically speaking... it was quite nice from the point of the special effects... the story was normal and quite full of cliches.... such as.. the hero never dies... and blah blah....

Another thing about it is that its a "leave your brain outside" kind of show... The logic parts never add up... maybe the producers thought that the viewers would be too wrapped up in the special effects to be bothered about the logic... like.. why is there enough time to do CPR in the middle of the battlefield and not be blasted to bits.... oh well... movies are like that and thats what make them entertaining...

And so... this post ends here.... hope that more interesting things happen....

A new offer...

To all my fellow morons classmates, in accordance to the hard times of assignments and reports, I've decided to start a question and answer service.

Ever had those tough and unanswerable questions? Ever wondered how to live through those assignments?
Well.. fear no more... i'm here to save all those idiots who cant do it themselves help everyone...

So... is there a catch? Surely something this good cant be true... right? Wrong! This new service is absolutely free for the first 5 questions answered. After that, a relatively low fee of $5 per question or $20 per 5 minutes will be charged. It is definately a bargain, theres no better offer than this.

Anything related to assignments, reports or just some stuff that you don't understand, or even personal questions will be gladly helped with....

Interested? Of course you are... who wouldnt be?...

Note : The above was absolutely gibberish and is just a lame joke... lol.. guess it isnt totally untrue... i would help if i can.... dont misunderstand... XD

What now....?

Sigh.... another week has passed... still the same boring things.......
I'm not sure what im doing at all... day in day out.... its like life is set to auto....
So... what to do now.... really dunno what to do..... someone give me something to do.... and dont say assignments...

What does everyone wish for?
What does everyone want?
What does everyone hope for?

Right now... its like im floating around in the vast ocean.. staring straight into the clear blue sky.... hoping for something to happen..... maybe it would rain.... but there are no clouds.... there's not even anyone around...

What would happen... i do not know... though i hope that something good would happen....
Haiz... so damn bored.... not even sure what to write here....

Another interesting observation....

Have you ever noticed? There are two very interesting things that we encounter everyday....
They are Relativity and Subjectivity....

These two things happen even without us knowing about them....
What is relativity? It is even in Einstein's theory of relativity... amazingly simple yet complexly intriguing.....
Subjectivity is another amazingly complex thing... different people would produce different answers....

Combined together, relativity and subjectivity defines our lives and thoughts and even our dreams....
Interestingly, when they help define everything, they themselves are indefinable.... another paradox theory....
These two things usually occur in our thoughts.... relativity and subjectivity....

And so... what we think is actually relative to what society wants us to think and our thoughts are subjective to our feelings....

Its quite intriguing how one person may think that something is absolutely normal when its something totally illogical to somebody else.... logic is also relative and subjective....
Another thing is how each individual views the world.... their views are relative and subjective... when we look at something... it maybe really complicated... but from another viewpoint, its actually laughable... everyone should try it sometime... look at things through another person's eyes....
Maybe then people would understand others better....

These two things are what make this world so interesting.... wont you agree with me?.... that would be relative to what you think right now and subjective to how you feel about this sentence...
muahaha.... you can never escape the laws of reality... but rules are meant to be broken right?....

Nothing much....

Lately... nothing much has happened... rather boring lately....
Still mostly the same routine everyday.... wake up... go to college... come back from college.... sleep... and repeat... with a little bit of game, assignment and anime in between....

The next few weeks would probably be the same... interestingly... when i have assignments to do... i feel bored... no assignment to to also feel bored... guess its the same with everyone... sien-ness...

Define bored.... what is the meaning of bored...?
Bored is defined as having nothing to do or nothing interesting to do... But... that is totally absolutely wrong... even if people have things to do, they may still feel bored...

So... what actually is the definition of bored...?
The word "Bored" should be redefined as not having the right thing to do at the right time....
If you're not doing the right thing at the right time, of course it would be less interesting than it should be....

Well.. thats the case right now... i dont have the right thing to do right now.... and thus bored....
By the way... time seems to be passsing quite fast lately....soon it'll be next week already and the next after that...
Why is that?.. its a mystery.... XD

The mystery of the speed of time.... probably would be explained in further posts... lol...

Looking forward to....

I was wondering... what does everyone look forward to.....
Maybe some people look forward to tomorrow... a new day...
And then... some people look forward to that new video game... or that new movie....

I wonder... what do most people look forward to in life... what goal are they trying to achieve... what end game are they hoping for.... when you think about it, most of the things we do are due to compulsion... its like we have to and must do....

Its quite logical... study for knowledge... work for money... and then what?... why do we do the things we do?... guess it takes time to find purpose.... hope to find it soon though....

on a side note... it seems that a lot of people have gotten sick... me included... its really interesting.... why does water come out from my nose.... and what for.... hmm....
Maybe the weather has something to do with this...been rather hot lately...sigh... the earth's weather system has errors... XD...

College musical....

Just went to a musical drama organized by my college... a college musical drama..
So.... about the drama...

At first i didn't want to go.. thought it would be boring... but in the end i went...with my college friends... it was quite interesting actually...and free too...
Its supposed to be a drama about college life... but it became a comedy for most of us... we were laughing almost all the way through....

The acting was quite good though not perfectly coordinated... but the only problem was that the voices couldn't be heard clearly.. not loud enough... but it seemed that everyone had fun....

After the drama.. or rather comedy show.. my friends decided to have supper at gurney drive of all places.... like... gurney drive on a school holiday.... no place to park... packed with people.. and etc...

Anyway.. back to the topic... my college seems to have a lot of events like these... but most of us never bothered with it... or at least i didn't bother with it...

Guess it was entertaining in overall... a stress reliever after all that cramming assignments and test....

Tests...

After the assignments come the tests.....

Today was the test for Malaysian Studies... Tomorrow is the math test.... and theres that engineering drawing test on Saturday.. why the heck have test on a Saturday... have to go all the way just for a test....

And... apparently the ability to understand things doesn't apply to Malaysian Studies.. or history for that matter... hope i manage to pass this subject...

Anyway... it is said that the math test is going to be very tricky.... very very tricky..... must be careful.. must not make mistakes.... and its going to be 20% of the final marks i think...

Been rather busy lately... feels like theres so many things to do... haiz...

Reality....

Lately things seem more and more unreal to me...
Not even sure why... but there's this feeling that everything i know isn't real at all....

Should i go jump off a cliff just to test it out?.. probably a bad idea...
Nevertheless, hope i can still differentiate reality and non-reality.... then again.. everything seems to be mixed up for me...

Can someone help me confirm this reality? Wonder if life is just like a video game where we put our souls into physical bodies and go through life just for the fun of it.... maybe after i die then i could confirm that.... lol...

But, for now life goes on as usual... or unusual.....

Watching people die...

Today was the day we presented our circuits for the electronics subject...
Well... it wasn't much of a presentation but just explaining how our circuits worked to the lecturer...

Observations from this afternoon....
Most of the students were worried about the presentation...
Some of them were still fixing their circuits...
A few of them were already half dead...
Some of them never got their circuits working....

I got full marks for my circuit.... but i cant say the same for my report....
After the presentation.... some looked at me with envy... amazement... a little hatred... and some were kinda wishing i didn't exist?... just a feeling.... there was definitely hostility floating around in the class....

I'm sorry if i was making anyone feel pressured.... sorry if im really good at what im doing... forgive me but this is the only thing i can excel at.... the one thing i like and put all my heart into....
What should i do....

If i do really well... people hate me.... if i fail... i'd hate myself... so.... what to do....
Either way the outcome is still the same...
Wondering why should things be this way.....

Sometimes i look at the people around me... i can see dead people... people struggling to survive.... people who help others.... and all i can do is smile at them... nothing else...
its really stupid actually... standing there smiling at dying people... sounds like im evil?... i'd try to help... just not sure how to... its like everything i try to do turns out the wrong way....
really dont know why i even try at all....

Should i just do everything for myself and forget about others...? It'd be easier that way....
Should i forget about everything and leave this world behind?... Surely easier than living....

Sometimes i feel sorry for those who try so hard but achieve less than they deserved.... wish i could help...
I have the ability to understand just about anything... but not the ability to change everything....
It definately isnt easy when im standing in this battlefield full of dead people and im the only one alive... seeing people having their self confidence taken away... seeing them try so hard...

No matter what i do... i'd probably just see more and more people start to hate me...
I'm sure everyone else feels worser than me... and this post is definately just inconsiderate...
Hope everyone would feel better after a while... please don't hate me...

Frustrated....

FYI... i just spent almost the whole day at college... doing what?... doing my assignments obviously....

It would be assumed that my assignments would be done already... but on contrary nothing much was done... So... what actually happened for that 9 hours i was there?...
Lets see... I planned to complete at least the lab report there... thought i could ask a few of my friends for help.... turned out they knew nothing... as usual... well.. they helped a little.. but not much...

And so... i ended up depending on myself... who else to depend on if not myself... heh....
On top of that i had to be everyone's "problem solver".... sure... i'd help if i can.... but it gets annoying after a while.... seriously... i'm not some genius who knows everything....its not like you can just put a question into me and expect a miracle answer..... can't these people at least think a little before asking ( no offense )....

At this moment my report and assignments remain unfinished... and im tired....
Gonna go sleep it off.... forget about everything.... and thus the phrase 'Hakuna Matata'.... it means no worries.... and then that song starts playing in your head... haha...

Well... no worries for now... everything will straighten out sooner or later.... though preferably sooner...

Pressure.....

Only a few days to assignment deadline...
And so... the pressure increases....
Pressure is defined as force per unit area... the force would be equal to the assignments... area would be the time frame given to complete the assignment multiplied by number of people doing it.... As the assignments are not group assignments, the only factor to decrease pressure is time... but time is decreasing... but the work is not.... and so... pressure increases....

feels like my heads gonna explode....
All the assignments came at once.... just like a nuclear bomb releasing exponential amounts of energy at once.... who are the culprits? the lecturers, of course...
If life was a sick cartoon... the students heads would have exploded one by one just by the sheer pressure of work.... each time we receive a new assignment... some of the students would blow up.... brains and internal organs would be splattered across the class....

Cant even breathe with all that work pressing on me..... really need to get it done... but no matter what i do things doesn't seem to be progressing well....

Well.. at least one thing came out right... completed my circuit for the electronic subject... a.k.a. EEE
now i just have to complete the damned report...

Already starting to lack sleep.... wonder if i ate pure caffeine i would be able to work faster.....

Sigh.... life is like that... no work no gain.... and thus more work is needed.....

Bored... and thus, random post.....

Bored a.k.a. Sien.....
But then there's a whole lot of unfinished reports and assignments.....
Haiz.... what to do....
Probably need some motivation....

And then... the weather seems to have gotten warmer... a little too warm actually.... damn hard to sleep at night.... some more got no air cond...

Why am i bored? don't know don't care...
But... i am quite sien with a few of my lecturers.... They should actually concentrate on passing on knowledge and not focusing on completing the syllabus... although it is important to finish the syllabus, it wont be of any use if we don't learn anything....... idiots... haiz...

Recently life seems to be a little detached from reality.... life doesn't have to be real does it?
Come to think of it, what defines life and reality?...
What makes something real or not real.... is it only relative? or something else...

Hmm.... i should be doing my assignments instead of writing this.... but what the heck... doesn't take too much time to write a post...

Anyway... life is still the same with a few unreal events included... and another day passes.... week 3 already ended... damn fast...

I should be....

more hardworking....
more diligent....
more caring....
more concerned....
more worried about my future....
more understanding....
more selfless....
more happy....
more grateful....
more productive....
more helpful....

more everything......

There's a whole lot of things that i should be.... what society wants me to be.... what everyone expects me to be...
Maybe I'm just a shell for peoples expectations... what am i really like? i have absolutely no idea.... maybe you all know....
Of course... i should actually be all those things... it would definitely be great...
Sometimes I'm still wondering... what would my true self be like...

They say "be yourself"... but how?... Its not easily achievable when you don't know how yourself would be like....
I usually just adapt to other people... and so... i may act differently at different times.... makes things easier....

Well life is still a mystery... (mine is anyway)

Overload.....

Assignments... Reports... and more...
imagine that for 5 subjects and all with a deadline within 2 weeks....
I might be exaggerating a little.. but there's still a whole lot of unfinished stuff....
And then there's the freakin moronic lecturer who never tells us what to do and expects reports and assignments to be done.....

Haiz.... so tired....

Still... work must be done...
Should think positive... things should straighten themselves out.... i hope...

Too bad there's no overload protection circuit for work... lols....

~Update..~

added a song of the week section on the sidebar...
should be updated weekly...i hope...
listen if you want to.. don't complain or say anything if you hate it...
thats all..

Change...

It has been about half a year since then....
About 6 months since things started to change....
About 24 weeks ago.. form 5 ended.... little did i know, since then many many things would happen.....
Everything began to change....

After form 5 ended... some went to national service... some stayed at home doing nothing..... whereas.. I went to college....
Things will never be the same ever again after form 5 ended...
I will never return to high school.... the endless days sitting in class studying, chatting with friends and worrying about exams and homework finally ended....
Now that i think about it, i actually miss high school... spending the days with friends... spending the nights gaming... waking up to a new day wondering what will happen in school....

Sure... i met new friends at college... but i cant help but wonder...
Staring at the same azure sky... the sky is still the same.. but nothing else is... everyone have started to go their own ways.... drifting further apart...
Most of my high school friends ended up in form 6... guess things wouldn't be the same for them either...
They would probably go through day by day like high school... with the exception that I'm not there with them... well, life goes on....
Sometimes i wonder if i would be missed... or just slowly forgotten... just a memory of the past..

Of course, things will change eventually... nothing remains the same forever...
Wonder why i even bother trying... i should just let everything move by itself... let everything fall into place or fall apart... just let it be.... things will have to change sooner or later...
Wonder if it would make any difference if i wasn't there in the first place... if i had never met everyone... would anything be changed?

All i can do now is just smile stupidly at the days that approach....
The wonderful days are just now a memory....

Not alone but lonely....

So... as the title says... wonder how that is possible?
How can someone be lonely when not alone... sounds like a paradox theory...
Anyway... what it means is that I'm not alone because i have friends.. parents.. family... people around me
With people around me, I'm hardly alone... laughing with friends, chatting away with family... and etc.. normal people would definitely understand...

And then one might ask how can i be lonely if there's always people around me....
The reason might be unreasonable... to most people anyway..(lol.. what kind of reason is an unreasonable one)
Why i feel lonely is probably because most people hardly understand me... sure you can say that you understand me... but i doubt that...
They say parents understand their children best... though, I'm not so sure...
Why would i say that people don't understand me?..
Its probably because people don't share my thoughts... whatever i think is my own... I'm the only person that can understand my own thoughts...
Sure.. guess that makes everyone different... everyone has their own way of thinking...

And then... that makes me wish that i could share my thoughts with someone other than myself... wonder if i had a twin, would he share my thoughts?.. probably not...

So.. it gets a little lonely when I'm the only one who can decipher my thoughts... end up thinking to myself...
Living in my own world... that's quite true.. only me would understand my imagination...
If i could display my thoughts on a screen, it would blow away any special effects imaginable...(haha... well....probably.....)

And so... everyone's thoughts are unique... don't expect anyone to understand the way i think....
Same goes for interests... not many would have the same as me... it makes me special... and also a little lonely.... people who share the same interests as me end up being competitors....(how stupid is that)

On a side note.. its already Friday..
Second week of sem2 is already over...
Most of my friends already started studying also...
Now I'm only living day by day... smiling at the new day and waving it goodbye as it goes away... Staring at a blank tomorrow.... not much to look forward to lately....
So... everyday passes with hardly any meaning....

..... though meaningless.. time still passes.....
...oh well....

Spiral...

What is a spiral.... a spiral can be a never ending shape, going on and on...
From the dictionary : a spiral is a shape made up of curves, each one above or wider than the one before.

Spirals are indeed amazing and intriguing shapes....

There are a lot of different types of spirals...
Spirals can also be abstract...
The few that we encounter daily is the positivity spiral or negativity spiral....
Ever wondered why bad things seem to happen one after another?... that's the negativity spiral... beware... haha... and sometimes things get better and better....

Lately I'm experiencing a positivity spiral.. things seems to go rather smoothly.. XD...
best of all, I'm happy for no apparent reason... hope this lasts.....
Guess everyone should be happy.. have fun in everything you do...

Besides the positivity and negativity spirals, there are also a whole lot of different types... discover them on your own... haha....

Another special day...

Its the second Sunday in May... and thus, Happy Mother's Day
hope all mothers are happy...though it is not statistically possible... but nevertheless hoping is good..

A few good songs to share(and a test on posting videos..):

Ash like Snow:


Meikyuu Butterfly:


Black Diamond:


Ignore the videos if you think its crappy.. But the songs are indeed nice..
For more information, Google is your best friend.. haha...

If time was like money...

As the title says, If time was like money....
Ever wondered what if time was like money? You could spend it, keep it for later use... and such..

A totally impossible ' what if ':
Everyday you would receive an allowance of 24 hours...
If i only spent 8 hours on that day, i could keep the rest for later use in a time-bank...
Every hour i deposit in the time-bank, i would receive a monthly interest... then i would get extra time to spend later on....
If there was a loan system i would be even more interesting....
Borrow an extra few hours for today.... return it tomorrow.... this gives a whole new meaning to 'living on borrowed time'...

If time was like money maybe we could have time credit cards.....
Or even inherit huge amounts of time from wealthy grandparents......
how cool is that....
If i could have a time-account filled with a whole lot of time..... i could spend all the time in the world doing what i want to....

Everyone is only allowed 24 hours a day... but if i could save even just 1 hour a day... it would add up to quite a lot...
I could even choose not to spend my 24 hours in that day and use it another day... that would give me 48 hours in 1 day... not bad eh?

IF time was like money...
notice this is a huge IF (literally)...
almost impossible...(totally impossible actually)

And so, we should use the 24 hours we are allowed in 1 day wisely... if it it not well spent, it is wasted....
Time cannot be saved no matter what...(unless if time travel has been invented).. and thus it should be treated with respect....

I still want to have top power to control time...
Well... everyone can dream cant they?

Tired...

Its the second day of semester 2....
and I'm tired already... damn... wonder how am i gonna survive the next 4 months....
crappy afternoon classes.... haiz...

I'm starting to wonder if they are conducting a secret experiment where they suck out the life force of the students.....

with all the afternoon classes and all that... its like i go back to sleep only... wake up then have to go college already....

tired.......
sleep....
zz....

maybe I'm just not used to it yet...
besides the tiredness and all that... the lecturers are quite ok(first impression) might change my mind later on... lol....

Lame joke...

Two pieces of ham were walking down the road...
And one of them said : "We're dead meat."

Get it?? dead meat...
Technically ham is meat which is dead... and thus dead meat... XD

Observe....

Have you ever observed people and the world around you before?
Take a good look and see the things that you have missed or never thought was there before....
One thing that I've noticed is that people are selfish by nature...
Everyone is never kind to one another... never caring... unless if you're old, sick or nearly dead....
Sure, you can say that you've helped on old lady up the stairs or give up your seat for a sickly old man......

Notice that they are helped and cared for because they cant do it by themselves...
What about the healthy people?... Most people would say: "Let them be", "They can help themselves", "Why should i help them?", "Who cares..." that's right, who cares... nobody cares..

"Help those in need.." but what about the others?

Guess that's how the world works.... Nobody cares for you because you can care for yourself....
Wouldn't you wish that everyone could and would care just because they can? But isn't it selfish to wish that everyone would care for you?

The world we live in is a paradox... no definite... nothing definable.. nothing perfect...

Well... who cares anyway... people continue living just like that...

Holiday....(the end of it)

Today is May Day aka. Labour Day....
Happy labour day to all workers... its a special holiday eh...
Ever wondered why there aren't many special holidays like this?
Its all due to a simple reasoning of appreciation (sounds stupid? probably....)
Anyway... think about it.. people tend to take things for granted when they get used to it...
Too many holidays and u wont appreciate any of it..
If you worked hard all your life, you would appreciate any little bit of rest you get...
Its the same with relationships or anything else for that matter....
The further you are away from someone... the more you would appreciate any little bit of time you spend with them, no matter how the other person dismisses that fact......

And thus.. appreciate any and everything you get... take things for granted and they will disappear faster than you know it........

... semester break is almost ending... so sad...

Third?..nope.. this time its Results

Good morning world.....
Collected semester 1 results today... guess what..[cue drum roll]
Straight A's ... haha...(no A+ though....)
CGPA 4.0... etc.....
Rather expected.. so im not extremely thrilled about it...

After the results come semester 2....
Its going to be another hectic 4 months....
Whats worse is that all the classes are in the afternoon.... damn... no more free day for me.....
Haiz... gotta study hard again.....hope the classes would be interesting (its easier if the classes are interesting)
Running out of time.... semester 2 starts next week.... better appreciate the holiday while it lasts....
and then....life goes on....

Second...

This one will be about philosophy...
I'm sure everyone knows but i'm going to write it anyway...
Happiness is relative and so is sadness.....
these are the two extremes of emotions... equal opposites...
Relative as one only exists with the other...
If you've been happy all your life, the simplest things can make you sad....
If you've been sad all your life, the simplest things can make you happy....
We recognize one only when were familiar with the other...
Well.. life is like that...

First...

Da da da da......
First post.... of many to come.... I hope....
To be honest.... i have no idea what to write at this moment....
So.... this will be it....
Maybe someday i will look back at this post and laugh about it.... hoho...